My Letter to Mr. Augustus.

Dear Mr. Augustus
         We have
never met, but I have absolutely heard wonderful things about you.  Over
the past several months by reading the Worcester Telegram and Gazette and
watching City Council meetings I have come to believe that you can truly walk
on water.  I’m just kidding about the water part.  But it has been
extremely stated that you have been doing a wonderful job and I have no reason
to believe otherwise.
The reason I am writing you is to ask for
your help in a very delicate matter.  I’m actually embarrassed to ask for
your assistance but there seems to be no other alternative.  I need your
help in stopping the mess that is also known as the “City Manager
Search”.  Please just do us all a favor and reconsider keeping the
job you currently hold.  I admire that you are a man of your word, but
have you been watching this process?  If a tent was put on it we could
sell it to Ringling Bros.
I even have a plan to get you out of your
other job at the College of the Holy Cross.  As Director of Community and
Government Relations you can tell Rev. Burroughs that your first priority when
you get back is to figure out how the college can give back to the community by
actually paying taxes to the city.  After hearing that plan you should be
free to leave, you may actually get fired for that one.  Sorry about that.
You are our only hope because it is apparent that everyone else
involved is either not capable or not interested in replacing you. I tend to
believe it’s the latter.  However, if you
don’t step up and handle this matter, it will get worse and the city will take
a step backwards.  Then we will get stuck
with someone who is “not up to the job.
We need you to save us from ourselves,
because it took the city to replace your predecessor, who was on the job for
nearly a decade, about five minutes.  I didn’t realize it would take your
entire tenure to find your replacement.
Do us a favor and stay on as City Manager.
Best Regards,
3D
If you don’t take it from me, ask my wife.

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