Happy Halloween…….Kids

It is October 31st and that only means one thing. Me and my wife’s annual
dash out of the house to avoid the trick or treaters. Unfortunately, Halloween
ranks way at the bottom of the holiday list for me. It is so far down at the
bottom of the list that it has to work its way up to get to the bottom. You
would think having a child would get us in the mood. Yeah, we dress our
daughter up and take her out with family and friends, but I am sorry, I just
can’t do it. This is not a new phenomenon, I have never been a fan of it, even
as a kid. I never drove my parents crazy for the plastic costumes you used to
be able to buy at CVS. I never got creative in making my own costume and I
never really like going out asking for candy. Me! The biggest sweet tooth in the
world didn’t like asking for candy. That’s why I always prayed that no kids
ever came to my parents’ house because then the candy was mine, no effort
needed.

But it’s not the kid portion of Halloween that irks me, not in the least. It’s
actually pretty cute to see all the little kids in their costume. My daughter
will be a Garden Gnome this year. Did she ask for that costume? Yeah, right!
That is what Halloween has become for me, what asinine costume I could get my
daughter in. The adults and the costume shops have absolutely made me not like
Halloween. This is a commercialized holiday for children but adults have become
so obsessed with this holiday that it takes the fun out of it. I couldn’t tell
you the last time I actually wore a costume on Halloween. However, recently I
did dress up as one of the Ghostbuster as a joke at a rehearsal dinner. One
thing I have noticed the past couple of years while taking my daughter out on
Halloween is the most popular costume among parents is the “College
Student at a Keg Party” costume. I have to admit that I am guilty of
wearing the same costume. There must be a run on Red Solo Kups around Halloween
because they are everywhere on Halloween night. So this begs the question, do
all parents hate Halloween?

The Halloween became an appointment holiday. Some cities and towns have
trick or treating during certain hours and some have it on does other than the
31st. That’s not Halloween, that’s candy pan-handling on October 30th. The
worst part of that is that people from other towns invade other towns to cash
in on more trick or treating on off days. So now some towns have double their
public safety pleasure because parents are not satisfied with just trick or
treating on the 31st in their own neighborhood. Does your child need that much
candy? No wonder there is a child obesity issue in this country. I guess you
could justify it by using the price of the costume as a reason for Trick or
treating double dipping.

I have been lucky enough to work from home the past 5 years and I have not been
subjected to the office Halloween parties that go on. If people put as much
time in their jobs as they do planning office Halloween parties, office
efficiency would be up 3000%. I respect that, having these parties to build up
worker morale, great idea. But how does it help worker morale that people who
don’t participate are cast out as office pariahs because they don’t want to
wear a costume. Really? I respect the fact that you want to act like a child
and not do your job, you could at least respect my decision not to. It’s not
just that, adults sometimes get stressed over what they are going to wear for
Halloween. There are much more important things than to worry about than to
what costume to wear.

This brings me to costumes. I pray that there is some legislation that bans
Halloween before it is time for my daughter to get Halloween costumes on her
own. Sorry folks, I have never seen a nurse, a police officer, or a doctor
dressed as some of these costumes depict. I have seen all the Harry Potter
films and there were no girls showing cleavage in their Hogwarts uniforms.
Halloween is now the holiday that women get to dress and lose their integrity
and dignity. Sorry ladies, not to sound mean, but if you get amped up to dress
like that once a year something tells me that you would like to dress like that
all the time, you are just using Halloween to hide it. I don’t want to keep
driving at this point because my intention is not to offend anyone and I am
headed down that path. And Seriously people ,do pets need to be put in costumes?  It’s creepy enough when people do it when it isn’t Halloween.

The point is that Halloween is for the kids and somewhere down the line some
children just never grew up. Drinking establishments have cashed in on it.
Costume companies have cashed in on it and the public has eaten it up. Can we
please go back to the two hours of trick or treating on the 31st with the same
old plastic costumes and take the thought process out of it. Let’s sit back and
enjoy an evening of pleasure in our children’s faces that only rivals waking up
on Christmas morning. The innocence of the young children yelling trick or
treat at somebody’s front door and being reminded by a parent to say thank you
when they get their treat. That is what Halloween is, and that is what it will
be in my household.

Happy Halloween everyone,
3D
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