Child’s Play

I had a whole article written about sequestration and to be quite
honest I didn’t want to be “that guy”.  I decided to write about
a toddler instead.  Not the ones that are acting as our elected leaders in
Washington but actual children.  Have you ever looked at a toddler and
asked yourself, what is that child thinking?  Well, I think that question
has somewhat been answered.

I enjoy spending
some time on social media.  It helps me broaden my intellectual, and very
often non-intellectual, mind.  I prefer Twitter to Facebook because there
isn’t much dialogue on it and I can “follow” celebrities with the same
interests as me, which points me to other interesting articles and comments.
 However, several months ago my wife told me of a Twitter
“handle” called “The Honest
Toddler”
.  Since going to that website I have to admit I have
been pretty addicted and every now in the then I will say to my wife “Did
the Honest Toddler say anything interesting today?”
As a dad of a 3
year old and a 10 month old I can totally relate to this.  Ironically, “The Honest Toddler” is a mom from Canada.  Her
name is Bunmi Laditan and started the Twitter account as a joke because of a
parenting showdown with her 2 year old.  She uses it as a release from her
parenting frustrations and to have fun.  That is the same reason I think
my wife and I enjoy it so much.  We have pretty much two easy kids with
the occasional melt downs for various reasons, but I have to say we are
blessed.  We are very laid back parents and have no problem laughing at
our children, sometimes we even instigate jokes of our children for our own
amusement.  Good stuff.
I find this
character funny for a couple of reasons.  The first is the scenarios that
it (an asexual character) comments on, I have been there and as frustrated as I
was at the time I can completely laugh about it later on.  I also find the
toddler speaking the truth.  As much as I like to listen to parents talk
about their rationale as to why their toddler acts a certain way, it’s just a
guessing game.  Do my kids have tendencies?  Absolutely!  But
just when I think I have that tendency licked they change it up on me and I am
back at square one and I feel my daughters are mocking when that happens
Here is a list of
some of my favorite tweets from The Honest Toddler:
On Parents
diagnosing symptoms:
  They’re looking for solutions on
the Internet. Trying to get real medical advice from the same place as funny
cat videos.
On his visit
to the doctor: 
They
overpowered me but not before I gave the doctor the slap of a lifetime.
On his Civil
Liberties:
 In
time out for the third time today. Not one trial. Can she hold me without
charges? #ACLU
On life: “All you need is love.”
See? Nothing about pants.
On getting
busted:
  “You’re giving me gray hairs.” First of all, I
ate my gray crayon months ago. Second, stop lying.
   
                 
   
             Even if I had listening ears
I wouldn’t wear them every day.
Bedtime: “Thank God for bedtime.” That’s
hurtful.
So tonight when
your toddler doesn’t want to sleep don’t go out and by Dr. Ferber’s book on
sleeping.  When they don’t want to eat, no need to get Elizabeth Pantley’s
book and when they are being crazy stay away from the 1-2-3 Magic books.
 Just log onto Twitter and follow The Honest Toddler.  You may get
your answers, if not you will definitely get a chuckle.  If you wait until May The Honest Toddler has a book coming out it’s titled The Honest Toddler: A Child’s Guide to Parenting 
3D
If you don’t take
it from me, ask my wife

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